72:90 :: Human Tendencies

yesterday(4.28.09) i had to pick up this perscription from my doctor... she told me that it would be harsh on my tummy and to eat before i take it &. if i could take it before bed. so i made a mad dash to Target bcuz they had Lean/Hotpockets on sale 4 for $8 &. went &. picked up an old friend... well what the doctor should've told me was take these pills at a time when you wont be doing anything put breathing bcuz youre going to be in some SERIOUS pain... 
As im taking my amigo home my stomach starts to hurt, but i figure i could make it home before it got too bad... nope.! didnt happen. i was like 5 minutes away from my house before i had to pull over and take and "spit" well thats what i THOUGHT it was and at first i did JUST spit.!! but then my stomach got the best of my and that Lean Pocket decided it didnt want to sit well &. everything just came up. now as all of this is going i noticed a white doge stratus driving by what i didnt notice that the car turned around.!
while i was preparing to gurdy up and drive the last 5 minutes home the stratus pulls up next to me and a woman asks me to roll down my window, so i follow though she proceeds to ask me, "if im okay.?" and i explain that its just my medicine making me a little ill and that i was okay. she then asked if i was sure and if "i needed to go to the hospital or anything.?" and i again said i was fine, and that i was "right down the street from my house." 
once i got home &. was safe in my bed i went over everything in my head &. the woman in the stratus was the one thing that brought a smile to my face... it was a re assuring feeling to know that no matter how mean people get, no matter how selfish the world is, or how me me me people are there are still some people out there that are human. with human feelings and emotions. humans that still know right from wrong &. see the clear difference between good &. evil... so thank you to the woman in the white Doge Stratus where ever you are for stopping what you were doing to make sure i was okay.!

66:90 :: over it...

im soooooooo tired of NOT seeing my bestfriend idk what ot do with myself.!! & thats all im going to say about that.!!!

54:90 :: OH NO.!

uggggh.! why you have to leave the way you did.? and why did i have to be soo nosey.? now here i am back to the Schae from October 2008... "out of sight out of mind" my ass.!! its NOT true what so ever... dont you understand how much i missed you &. how unfair all of this was.?  leaving without an explanation... in WHAT world is that okay.? who does that, and is able to live with it like it doesnt hurt somewhat.... didnt you get it.? im different, special, unique, fun.! and instead i was passed off as if i was typical, normal, or average... ugggh.!! i hate the way i feel about you and this situation, i hate that i didnt get to say anything about the way things happend, i hate how HARD it was to pretend like i didnt care anymore, and even more i hate how i feel now....now that you're around. i wont say back because you will never be back, the route you took to leave was on a one way street, a choice again made by you not me... typically id dance when my feelings &. emotions get the best of me... but w. you.? youre different, &. i cant deal with this... all i want to do is lay in my bed &. let my mind consume me with emotion... but i cant let myslef go back there, not again, not now, i have to much going on to walk around like a zombie for another 2 months.!! &. i could lie &. say i never want to talk to you again, but i couldnt stop talking to you if i tried... now im just here sleepless, thoughts racing, &. doe eyes full of tears... so now what.?

Dance:

hmmmm....

dance /dans/ v. &. n. 1. move rhythmically to music, alone or with a partner or in a set, usu. in fixed steps or sequences to music. 2. skip or jump about; Move in a lively way 3. preform 4.MOVE up and down (on water) 5. MOVE (esp. a child) up and down...

NOWHERE in that Oxford/Websters definition does it mention ANYTHING about "must be done correctly in order to be called dance" nor does it say something along the lines of "must be understandable &. preformable by ALL people before it can be called dance"

so my question is this....
who are you to tell me im doing it wrong.?!

34:90 :: closed mouths dont get fed.!

well apparently they do now a days.!!! im sitting here at my bestfriends house... you know Ashley Lynnae, you know the one on Culture Shock Las Vegas with the curly hair that stupid sick,the one thats not just limited to hip-hop but jazz and ballet yea that's right Kim(Toshi's) ex.girlfriend yea her.! MY BESTFRIEND... and all i can think about is how i didnt say anything and now im dealing with more than my thoughts were able to process... i feel like i was writing a essay and someone in my class went behind my back and turned it in disreguarding the fact that it was only the ROUGH DRAFT.!!!!!!!! and the sad part about is i think they forgot that you have to give to get... so when i gave my time to you when you called me in the middle of the night about the other her... i didnt think THIS is what i would get in return... but hey life is all about surprises right.? well peep game.. dont be surprised when i start acting like the royal bitch that i really am... you brought this upon yourself... &. if you feel like you were doing it to help me i didnt need you help, no not at all.. what i needed was time to get my thoughts together before i said something... because as we can all see from my long list of blogs that i dont have any issue putting my thought on paper let alone getting them organized to do so... &. maybe next time when im not feeling so hungry ill keep my mouth open so that way im not fed with your bullshit.!!!

misery loves company & im not spending time with no one.!!!

27:90 :: Mother Knows Best

Frantonia Pollins.. oh how i lo ve my mother... the voice of reason.!! FiNALLY after all this back and fourth with my room mate and all that... my mom talked to her and made her see things from my point of view... & with good reason, i called her at 8.30 this morning and she's getting way more than tired of this.! and i can fully understand why... so the short version of the story is i am currently staying in my current living situation & my room mate will be talking to her boyfriend so that an arrangement can be made finanically along with his living arrangements...

in the meantime i feellike ahuge weight has been lifted from my shoulders right now... an it feels wonderful.!! i dont have too much else to say about the situation other than this... so im gonna end this now & keep things short & sweet.!!

24:90 :: sun shine

Wow.!! these past 4 days have been eventful...from being sick &. having incredible stomach pains... to my emergancy trip to UMC &. getting the WORST news EVER in my whole 20years.!! it has been eventful not just for me but even some of the people im close to...

With all things being said &. done i have been remined that every cloud has a silver lining &. after the storm is over the sun starts shining again.!!

my sun started shining this morning first when i realized instead of me trying to find a room mate why dont i just go live w. Jem Adonis &. Ben.? and let Shadeah figure her own shit out.!! (hahahaha.!! now whos a rude selfish bitch.?!!)

the 2nd shining of sun came when i was reminded by a friend that im not the only one having a bad day &. that i should visit fmylife.com &. oh boy did that make my day.!! 

FiNALLY the last but most important one came when my hubby aka Jasmine came to my job w. L&L, flowers, &. a card.!! it REALLY made me happy... only because in 20 years of life &. 17years of dancing ive NEVER had someone bring me flowers... chocolate, teddy bears, even jewelry.!! but no flowers... so shes the first &. i will ALWAYS remember that.!! i love you Jasmine.!!

all in all my day has been good... it will be great later on when i get to see one of my favorites... JAWKEEN.!! hes teaching HiFi tonight i cant effin wait.!!